Hey Don Draper - Listen up!

"To be able to really listen, one should abandon or put aside all prejudices. When you are in a receptive state of mind, things can be easily understood. Most of us listen through a screen of prejudices and a screen of resistance. Therefore we listen to our own noise, our own sound, not what is being said."
- First and Last Freedom by Krishnamurti

As many of my clients know, part of the Art of your Message is the art of hearing others' messages. I was struck by an episode of Mad Men in which the clients, who claimed to be a family-oriented firm, rejected the very clever campaign spearheaded by Don Draper and co. Why? It wasn't family-oriented, as they had asked. The firm simply had not listened.

The quality of your business relationships, as well as your friendships, depend on your trustworthiness; and trustworthiness begins with hearing; with listening; with knowing whom you're speaking with and what they are telling you.

Why aren't we better at it? Because listening, like any art, demands attention to detail, skill, interest and practice. Some researchers claim that 75 per cent of all oral communication is ignored, misunderstood, or quickly forgotten. As Krishnamurti says, we're listening to others through our own noise, the ideas we already have formed, the chatter of our own brilliant next thoughts.....it's called not listening at all. Robert Bolton, author of People Skills, has described three groups of skills for good listening.

1. Attending Skills: Give your physical attention to the speaker and listen with your whole body.

2. Following Skills: Get out of the way so you can discover the needs of the speaker.

3. Reflecting Skills: Build a bridge between you and the

However, I think the most important skill is a empathic skill. You know, when you speak with someone, if he or she is compassionate, caring, empathic. You feel the warmth. You feel the concern. You feel like telling more. You feel....heard. And then, of course, you've created a relationship in which you want to bring the same Empathic Skills to the person who so carefully listened to you.

Empathic Skills:

• Clarify your clients' words as well as you can back to him and ask, "Is that what you mean?" Sometimes we are afraid to clarify lest we look stupid.
  
  
• Be present: physically, emotionally, intellectually.
  
  
• Leave the blinders at home.
  
  
• Intuit the feelings underneath the words and respond to them.
  
  
• Don't judge, advise or avoid what is really being said.

When a client says to me, "That was an amazing training we just had. It was like therapy!" I know I've done my job. A good interaction, one in which the client feels heard and understood, DOES feel like therapy because, after all, how often in a given week or month does anyone get that kind of connection with a stranger?

Gotta run. I must get this off to Don Draper immediately. They just lost Lucky Strike

Creating a Vital Online Video Presence

"What we've got here is a failure to communicate."

- from Cool Hand Luke

Last month we discussed the two crucial steps necessary for organizing and preparing you to work with a videographer-- to create a compelling video that will draw potential clients and visitors on the web.

You need a well-designed three-to-five-minute personal video that introduces your services, expertise, credibility and the "intangibles" that you believe separate you from your competition--downloaded not only on your own site, but on Google video, YouTube, Yahoo, and AOL Video.

We've also discussed the importance of organizing and rehearsing your material before the final shoot, so it all sounds spontaneous, natural and idiosyncratic. It should sound just the way you talk! That way, you'll grab those visitors in that first "Blink" and, in just seven seconds, make them want more.

"Fasten your seat belts; it's going to be a bumpy night."

- from All About Eve

Before taping, you must:

• Review your notes and practice speaking in a conversational, energetic and clear manner.
• Select professional, comfortable outfits in camera friendly colors like blue, red, pink, yellow and slate-gray. Black and white are tough on the eye of the camera. And skip the dangling earrings, diamonds, stripes and patterns that do little else but upstage you. Ditto the pieces you never wear and don't feel at home in.
• Relax with light stretching and deep abdominal breathing. Stretch your jaw, sing, get your voice going and your face de-tensed. Flutter your lips to relax them.

"All right, Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my close-up."

- from Sunset Blvd.

The Taping

• Let the videographer direct you. But, as this is a collaboration, start rehearsing as she adjusts the microphone. Get comfortable in the new space.
• Look directly into the lens. Imagine the person you are talking to-a close friend, maybe, or a client you're happy with. Once you're cued, smile, introduce yourself and begin.
• Have a strong opening that you've prepared and feel comfortable with.
• Yes, the script is prepared, but as much as you can, let it sound as if the ideas just came to you-that they aren't from a script at all. It's helpful to take it slowly, as if you were speaking with a close friend.
• Remember to say your three key points, and to itemize the information and the benefits you're offering the viewer.
• Because you are enthusiastic about your presentation, sit on the edge of your chair and lean forward, as if you can't wait to share the good news. Engage in a dialogue with your listener.
• Pause when you can, and breathe between ideas-- and use your gestures to drive home a point (but stay within the frame!).
• End with a strong closing point, in words that you would use in real life, and in a way that invites interaction.
• Have your cue cards positioned under the camera, in case you choke.
  
• Ask your videographer to show you all the takes. If you're unhappy, ask for a retake. (One rarely gets a great take first time out, so relax and redo until you are comfortable with the results.)

Your final video, once downloaded, will increase online activity as your visitors become your clients.

Having your video handy when you travel is always smart: It can help cement new media opportunities, introduce you to unforeseen speaking venues, and create a fresh presence on various social media platforms

I'm here cheering you on! Let me know how it goes!

...And, as they say, Break a leg!

Creating an Effective Online Video

"Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

- The Wizard of Oz

We all realize that social media has redefined how business is being done. It is (supposedly) the new way of getting your message across without spending a lot of money.

So this summer, why not explore creative strategies for marketing yourself and your company by building a strong presence on social media platforms? What's the fastest way to inform the world about you and your company's products or services? Video!

Let's focus on creating a 1-3 minute dynamic video to attract potential clients to your site and services. It's simple. Start to monetize your website and drive sales. Tell us why we would want to engage in an ongoing conversation with you. What makes your company unique and worth hiring?

Suggest new solutions to client concerns in your unique communication style. Position the video on your web site, Facebook, You-Tube and LinkedIn.

You need to hire a professional videographer to film and edit the video to optimize your message.

So, put a face on your business, and let's see the "real you."

If the "real you" is as rusty as The Tin Man at the thought of being filmed, follow my suggestions and your worries will vanish.

Get Organized!

"If you build it, they will come". - Field of Dreams Focus on the audience you want to reach. What do you want the viewer to think, feel and do? Write it down. This objective motivates each word you utter. Who is your market? Be specific about what features/benefits you can offer this audience. Create an opening statement (a relevant statistic, a startling fact, or a rhetorical question) that grabs your viewer's attention. Jot down your differentiating variables. Eliminate all but the most important 3-5 points that best explain your unique offerings and the solutions you can provide. Write out key phrases on a cue card. It's your safety net. Experiment picking up a word from the cue card to keep you on point. Time it. Remember - "Brevity is the soul of wit." Don't oversell; in fact, don't sell at all. Keep it friendly and informational. Succinctly, summarize your most salient points and leave your viewer with a call to action. You have your script, you have your cue cards and you've answered the most important question, How will my client benefit from hearing this segment? Practice makes perfect.

Get in on the Conversation

In my next blog, we'll discuss the pre-shoot and the actual shoot with a videographer. So prepare the above steps and you'll be ready for the next step. Remember, the Tin Man thought things would be so different "if I only had a brain" and a little oil on those rusty joints. Now you do. Let me know how it goes and don't hesitate to ask me questions. "May the force be with you." -Star Wars Eileen

Navigating Cultural Differences

In our global economy, building trusted relationships with culturally diverse clients requires clear, effective, empathic communication. Unlike the rapport and intimacy you have with your best friend, or even with familiar clients, relationships that feature language and culture barriers can, at first, lack the warmth, humor, and understanding that are essential for trust to develop. A smart leader learns to navigate cultural waters as deftly as any sailor in foreign seas!

So, get into those waters eagerly. By learning to decipher the needs of your new clients, as well as the nature of their businesses and the difficulties they face, you'll soon understand their hopes and their dreams-and will have earned their trust.
Some navigation tips:

Be sure to attend to your own initial impression. Know the pronunciation of your client's name and of her business. Be familiar with her firm's logo and tag line, if it has them. Obviously, you'll be welcoming, and serve as a model of your own company and culture, by smiling, shaking hands, making eye contact, and be well-versed in the nature and concerns and issues pertinent to her organization.

Don't leave your sense of humor at home. Take the initiative and motivate those around you. Look out for client's interests.

• Ask open-ended questions and listen to the answers to discover real needs and priorities. Never play "gotcha" with a client in the hope of seeming smart. It always backfires.

• Establish rapport by learning to listen reflectively; paraphrase what you hear and repeat it, so both of you know there is clear understanding. Be attuned to the client's terms, her language, and use it if you can when offering feedback.

• Read body cues: be aware of facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures and posture to read your client's feelings and uncover the meta-message.

• Be an empathic listener and respond authentically. Take a risk and let yourself be known. Never pretend you believe something if you don't; never hide your feelings so as to feign agreement. Trust requires authenticity.

• Create more trust by admitting when you've made a mistake. No cover-ups.

• Be visible. Let people know you are available. Say thank you and make employees feel they are contributing and are respected.

• Become the person you would love to work for.

Get in on the Conversation

Do Digital Diligence

As a communications expert for the past twenty years, I have witnessed the digital revolution and its impact on how we communicate.
Suddenly, you who were once hidden from the media, are now called to discuss everything from your daughter's soccer game to the fate of Goldman Sachs.
You'd better know how to discuss it! Whatever you say will be circulating in cyberspace for years. An off-the-cuff remark, a tacky blog post, or an inferior YouTube video will haunt you. It sticks!
While the world has changed, many of the qualities needed to be an effective communicator have not. Don't be fooled by the deceptive ease of delivering your message. Doing it well is an art!
Tips for the Taking
So before you give a presentation, grant an interview, or are asked for a quote, remember to take yourself through the following steps:
• Locate your message. What makes it innovative, topical or newsworthy? Pull us in with that opening thought. Grab us!
• Decide on 3-5 key points. They must be diverse, yet support your original objective.
• Articulate your key points so that they guarantee the desired response and subsequent action you want the listener to take.
• Keep us focused on the intention of your message.
• Consider your audience. What are their rational/political/ and emotional motivators? Know how to shape your communication to answer your audience's needs.
• Be in touch with your own enthusiasm. Use your voice and your body to support and color your most important thoughts. Persuade your audience to take the action you suggest.
• Back your key messages with solid evidence. Do the work; forget winging it.
• Influence your audience by providing benefits! Offer a better alternative, an enterprising insight, a practical and affordable solution.
Get in on the Conversation
If you are a thought leader with fresh solutions and vibrant ideas ante up and become a voice we can listen to and trust.